As many of you know, my place of employment is a retirement home. Every couple of weeks or so, we have a motivational speaker come in to talk about whatever the hot issue is.
A couple of days ago, we had a paraplegic woman come in to talk about how, even with disabilities, a person can live a fulfilling life. A great idea in my opinion, as many if not all of the residents have some sort of dishabilitating illness or condition.
This motivational speaker, did everything but that.
(Note: The following post is not intending to offend anyone)
She set up her talk more like a musical then anything else. She would talk for a few minutes and then sing a song with her guitar.
The talks were absolutely depressing. I understand that losing the use of your legs would be an awful experience, but so is losing your memory. Or losing the ability to use more than just your legs.
She would take a seemingly sweet story, turn it into something needlessly horrific, and then would say at the end, "But that's ok, he's made the most of his life." And then she'd sing 'What a Wonderful World'.
Take the lovely friend she met, who also was a paraplegic. They were great friends, and they helped each other deal with their disability. He helped her see what she had in the world rather than what she had taken from her. It helped her to feel more normal, like everyone else. He has a lovely wife, and lovely kids who accept him just the same even though he is a little different. And then one day, he was crossing the street, and he was struck by a vehicle. His wheelchair was knocked over, and he landed on his shoulder, and he lost the use of that arm. And then, "Che, sera, sera, whatever will be, will be..."
Call me ignorant, call me insensitive, call me weird, just don't call me Sue, but I was not motivated whatsoever.
A motivational speaker should inspire us to do more with our lives, to strive for greater things, to go above and beyond what is expected of us. She should not regale us with extensive tales of how the doctor messed up her diagnosis, and then sing "How Much Is That Doggy In the Window".
But that's just my opinion. Thus the blog.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
The Startling Rate of Spoilage.
Giving my ambiguous title, I could really talk about pretty much anything and it would make sense.
I could talk about milk.. Did you know that milk will go bad after being out on the counter for only a few hours. That is startling. But, no, that's not today's topic. Maybe tomorrow I will delve into the startling nature of spoiled milk.
What I want to talk about is children.
While I'm legally an adult, I am still a child in many ways, so this is not me pretending to be above them.
However, it seems to me that children today are more spoiled than they have ever been in history. And things don't just seem this way; this is the truth.
I dare you to go ask your parents how they were treated when they were a child. Then ask your grandparents. Yes, times were different. People were poorer (or were they?) and the world wasn't as complicated as today. But that isn't the main reason.
Parents are simply getting lazy. When I was a child, if I did something wrong, I was punished. If I did something wrong repeatedly, I sometimes even got spanked. And I am very thankful for it. Kids today however, seem to think they run the place. They do whatever they want, and aren't reprimanded, so they feel like this is ok. And its not. Instead of cutting their child off at the start, they go down the path of looking the other way and shrugging it off. They comfort themselves by telling themselves that their children aren't as bad as other kids.
These aren't the people I want running my world down the line. These kids grow into men and women who don't feel like they should have any responsibility. They think that if they don't want to do something, they shouldn't have to. This just leads to laziness. And its plain to see that it has already had a major effect on our society.
It's not all the parents' fault however. It seems like even the topic of spanking is a sensitive one nowadays. Even ten years ago, most parents spanked their child. And rightfully so. There comes a time when telling a child to stand in the corner just isn't good enough anymore. I'm not saying you should go full tilt on your child, but an occasional spanking in a regulated manner is a respectable way to parent your child.
Parents like to think that if they just give their kids whatever they want, the child will love the parent that much more. But this is so untrue. Look at the kids who get new cars for their 16th birthday and forget five minutes later when their mom asks them to clean their room and they throw a temper tantrum like she just asked for them to donate their spleen to charity.
Spoiling your child does no good for anybody. Parents become disrespected a whole lot more, and the relationship between a parent and child is almost non-existant. Kids learn early on that everything in life will be given to them, they don't have to work for anything, and if they don't get what they want, they should pout until the decision is changed.
Child spoilage is a dangerous thing. More dangerous than salmonella ever could be.
I could talk about milk.. Did you know that milk will go bad after being out on the counter for only a few hours. That is startling. But, no, that's not today's topic. Maybe tomorrow I will delve into the startling nature of spoiled milk.
What I want to talk about is children.
While I'm legally an adult, I am still a child in many ways, so this is not me pretending to be above them.
However, it seems to me that children today are more spoiled than they have ever been in history. And things don't just seem this way; this is the truth.
I dare you to go ask your parents how they were treated when they were a child. Then ask your grandparents. Yes, times were different. People were poorer (or were they?) and the world wasn't as complicated as today. But that isn't the main reason.
Parents are simply getting lazy. When I was a child, if I did something wrong, I was punished. If I did something wrong repeatedly, I sometimes even got spanked. And I am very thankful for it. Kids today however, seem to think they run the place. They do whatever they want, and aren't reprimanded, so they feel like this is ok. And its not. Instead of cutting their child off at the start, they go down the path of looking the other way and shrugging it off. They comfort themselves by telling themselves that their children aren't as bad as other kids.
These aren't the people I want running my world down the line. These kids grow into men and women who don't feel like they should have any responsibility. They think that if they don't want to do something, they shouldn't have to. This just leads to laziness. And its plain to see that it has already had a major effect on our society.
It's not all the parents' fault however. It seems like even the topic of spanking is a sensitive one nowadays. Even ten years ago, most parents spanked their child. And rightfully so. There comes a time when telling a child to stand in the corner just isn't good enough anymore. I'm not saying you should go full tilt on your child, but an occasional spanking in a regulated manner is a respectable way to parent your child.
Parents like to think that if they just give their kids whatever they want, the child will love the parent that much more. But this is so untrue. Look at the kids who get new cars for their 16th birthday and forget five minutes later when their mom asks them to clean their room and they throw a temper tantrum like she just asked for them to donate their spleen to charity.
Spoiling your child does no good for anybody. Parents become disrespected a whole lot more, and the relationship between a parent and child is almost non-existant. Kids learn early on that everything in life will be given to them, they don't have to work for anything, and if they don't get what they want, they should pout until the decision is changed.
Child spoilage is a dangerous thing. More dangerous than salmonella ever could be.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Groundhog Day.. again?
A little more than six weeks ago, Punxsatawney Phil gave his long-awaited prediction on the matter of whether or not Spring was on it way.
"Six more weeks of winter!" he declared triumphantly.
Not a surprise. At that point, we had had a pretty rough go of it. Lots of snowstorms, frigid weather, slippery roads. Who wouldn't think it would continue? And continue it has. We are now mere millimetres from breaking the snow accumulation record for Ontario, and in what might be the worst news of the year, there is no end in sight.
I have been told to expect six more weeks of colder than normal temperatures. And not by a groundhog either.
This means that while we aren't expected to have below zero temperatures for much longer, we shouldn't expect warm weather until at least a week into May. Who knows what this will do to our trees, flowers and etc. Most families with pools open up on the May 2-4 weekend or soon after. Where am I going to swim?
And what will this do with the morale of the population. I know this winter more than any before has been bumming me out, quite frankly I don't feel like being bummed out for another six weeks.
Let's just hope whoever decided this to be true is wrong, and that warm weather is coming sooner rather than later. Otherwise, I'm off to California.
"Six more weeks of winter!" he declared triumphantly.
Not a surprise. At that point, we had had a pretty rough go of it. Lots of snowstorms, frigid weather, slippery roads. Who wouldn't think it would continue? And continue it has. We are now mere millimetres from breaking the snow accumulation record for Ontario, and in what might be the worst news of the year, there is no end in sight.
I have been told to expect six more weeks of colder than normal temperatures. And not by a groundhog either.
This means that while we aren't expected to have below zero temperatures for much longer, we shouldn't expect warm weather until at least a week into May. Who knows what this will do to our trees, flowers and etc. Most families with pools open up on the May 2-4 weekend or soon after. Where am I going to swim?
And what will this do with the morale of the population. I know this winter more than any before has been bumming me out, quite frankly I don't feel like being bummed out for another six weeks.
Let's just hope whoever decided this to be true is wrong, and that warm weather is coming sooner rather than later. Otherwise, I'm off to California.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Departure.
I'm not ready. At all.
This is what I find myself saying more and more as the day approaches. The "day" I am pertaining to is Saturday, for this is the day that Ben and Alec, two of my most solid friends, leave for Fort McMurray for who knows how long.
I am not going to pretend that I am one hundred percent enthusiastic that they are going, but I am far past the point where I am going to wish they weren't going. I'm past being selfish. Despite what this entry may apply.
For me to say I'm not jealous would be lying. It will be the adventure of a lifetime.
For me to say I don't want to go would be lying. I just don't think I'm ready yet.
I don't have much more to say. I just hope they come back.
This is what I find myself saying more and more as the day approaches. The "day" I am pertaining to is Saturday, for this is the day that Ben and Alec, two of my most solid friends, leave for Fort McMurray for who knows how long.
I am not going to pretend that I am one hundred percent enthusiastic that they are going, but I am far past the point where I am going to wish they weren't going. I'm past being selfish. Despite what this entry may apply.
For me to say I'm not jealous would be lying. It will be the adventure of a lifetime.
For me to say I don't want to go would be lying. I just don't think I'm ready yet.
I don't have much more to say. I just hope they come back.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Dodgeball, Dodgeball, Dodgeball..
It's the only sport I know where the primary objective of the game is right there in the name of it: Dodge. Ball. Simple as that.
Our 20-somethings group held last night a dodgeball tournament for all those kids in our church from grade 7-12. We had twelve teams, each with two captains that were in the 20-somethings. Except of course for the team of old people, that believe or not, came fifth out of twelve.. Not too shabby.. Each team had some awesome uniforms, and I mean awesome. Best costumes by far went to Andrew and Barb, who took the time to so fake blue fur onto all of the sleeves and collars of their yellow tanktops..not to mention Andrew showing in a green outfit that made him look a bit like Donatello.
We started with a round robin. Each team played four games, which consisted of playing as any games as you could within the eight minutes alotted. Two points for a win in each single game, none for a loss. So the key was to play as many as you could.
We picked the kids schoolyard style after having the referees throw the balls at us captains to determine the order of picking. Getting off to a bad start, I was the first eliminated and thus the last to pick, but somehow we managed to pick up a AAA baseball player with our first pick. The rest of our team consisted of my co-captain Amanda who ended up being a lot better than I was, a more petite girl, Cody, who was most often the last to be hit, and Jared, the tournament director. I must say, we had a pretty solid team.
In our first match, we managed to win 6 games, to the other team's 0. However, in our second game, we went up against Reuben's Rowdies, a team that consisted of three of the hardest throwing captains, another AAA ball player, and a younger kid who wasn't bad himself. We knew we were in tough.
In the first game, they had us down to one player, Joel, and they had all of theirs left. Joel did not give up, and preceded to eliminate every single player from their team, giving us the win. That was the only highlight though, and we lost four games to one.
Our 20-somethings group held last night a dodgeball tournament for all those kids in our church from grade 7-12. We had twelve teams, each with two captains that were in the 20-somethings. Except of course for the team of old people, that believe or not, came fifth out of twelve.. Not too shabby.. Each team had some awesome uniforms, and I mean awesome. Best costumes by far went to Andrew and Barb, who took the time to so fake blue fur onto all of the sleeves and collars of their yellow tanktops..not to mention Andrew showing in a green outfit that made him look a bit like Donatello.
We started with a round robin. Each team played four games, which consisted of playing as any games as you could within the eight minutes alotted. Two points for a win in each single game, none for a loss. So the key was to play as many as you could.
We picked the kids schoolyard style after having the referees throw the balls at us captains to determine the order of picking. Getting off to a bad start, I was the first eliminated and thus the last to pick, but somehow we managed to pick up a AAA baseball player with our first pick. The rest of our team consisted of my co-captain Amanda who ended up being a lot better than I was, a more petite girl, Cody, who was most often the last to be hit, and Jared, the tournament director. I must say, we had a pretty solid team.
In our first match, we managed to win 6 games, to the other team's 0. However, in our second game, we went up against Reuben's Rowdies, a team that consisted of three of the hardest throwing captains, another AAA ball player, and a younger kid who wasn't bad himself. We knew we were in tough.
In the first game, they had us down to one player, Joel, and they had all of theirs left. Joel did not give up, and preceded to eliminate every single player from their team, giving us the win. That was the only highlight though, and we lost four games to one.
In our last two games, we did very well, and won five games to two both times. This allowed us to be the number one seed, going 17-8. Reuben's team took second, going 14-4.
We played the number four seed, Team Ballseye, the team of Rob Brown and Josh Carabin. They were a worthy opponent, but we knocked them out quickly three games to zero.
Reuben's team beat Zac's Zanies to meet us in the finals. The one team we didn't want to play.
I would say we held our own for the most part, but it was evident that they were stronger and more dodgy, and they beat us in three straight, becoming the first Annual Super Fun Dodgeball Tournament champions.
I was disappointed, but with their degree of stackedness, I thought our team did pretty darn well.
And now, I must somehow relate dodgeball to life.
In dodgeball, you must have a view of everything around you. You have to see every ball coming at you, and more importantly your groin, and you must find a way to get out of the way of them, no matter what you have to do.
In life, the balls represent the ladies, and I represent me. It appears I'm better at playing the dodgeball of life then the game itself.
Similarly, in dodgeball if you catch a ball that an opponent has thrown, he is out. In life, when lemons are thrown at you, you grab them, and you make lemonade. Or so I've heard.
So there you go, a couple of life lessons for you.
But I have one more. If you are playing dodgeball, did get hit in the cajones. It hurts real bad.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Obligatory Valentine's Day Entry.
I read somewhere last week that sixty percent of single Canadians spend Valentine's at home alone, sulking because they are single.
To me, this is pretty sad. Sadder than being single ever could. Now, I'm pretty pro by now at being single. Not too many people are better at being single than me. But I've spent nary a February 14th at home feeling sorry for myself.
Here are a couple reasons that will help you to enjoy the day despite being so very, very lonely.
1. You are single. You don't have to buy anyone chocolates, you don't have to take anyone out for dinner, write any poems or compose any songs. No one is going to be mad at you for forgetting it was Valentine's Day. Except maybe your mother.
2. In my opinion, Valentine's Day has the best candy of all the holidays. Yes, I am including Christmas, and even Halloween. First off, you got those witty conversation hearts with hilarious love messages such as "Fax Me" and "U R Hot". Whoever invented these things is a genius, not to mention the fact that I can literally eat 10,000 of these. You got those heart suckers that are delicious, you got those heart jujubes that are so much better than all the rest. And since you don't have anyone to buy for, you can treat yourself.
I was gunna go on, but why? If I haven't convinced you by now, you are a lost cause. Which means you are one of those sixty percent. Which means you are just yearning for the special boy or girl. Well boys, you are about to get a little lesson from the king of love.
In the form of the most passionate thing known to man: the poem. I am going to show you how to woo the girl of your dreams. Here is a little excerpt from the poem I am writing for my future lucky lady.
My love for you is as deep as Marianas Trench.
When you are with me, you tighten my heart like a wrench.
When you aren't, my soul, it cannot be quenched.
All I can ask for is your undying compassion.
Will you share with me your part of the rations?
Let's break it down. I started off here with a very powerful line. One that gets their attention right off the bat. How much deeper can you get than the deepest part of the world? I don't know.
These next two lines kind of go together. It shows that you are thinking about her twenty-four slash seven. That's a lot of time.
Next comes the request. I am reaching out to her right here. I can only love someone so much. They have to love me back. Don't worry, they will be eating out of your house by the time they get past those three lines. And by saying 'undying', you've got written proof against her if things don't work out.
And always at the end, you pose a question. I chose a question that goes kind of back to war times with the whole ration thing. Despite all the fighting, it was a very passionate time, what with ladies having to be away from their men so long and all. Given what I said about them eating out of your hand, it really is a rhetorical question.
Well, there you go. If you can't get a girl now, I don't know what to say. Rent the Notebook. Take a lesson from Ryan Gosling or whatever. But if you want my advice, stay single.
For when the time comes that you have a special someone in your life, you can't eat the candy you buy. It's just not worth it.
Happy Valentine's Day to all.
To me, this is pretty sad. Sadder than being single ever could. Now, I'm pretty pro by now at being single. Not too many people are better at being single than me. But I've spent nary a February 14th at home feeling sorry for myself.
Here are a couple reasons that will help you to enjoy the day despite being so very, very lonely.
1. You are single. You don't have to buy anyone chocolates, you don't have to take anyone out for dinner, write any poems or compose any songs. No one is going to be mad at you for forgetting it was Valentine's Day. Except maybe your mother.
2. In my opinion, Valentine's Day has the best candy of all the holidays. Yes, I am including Christmas, and even Halloween. First off, you got those witty conversation hearts with hilarious love messages such as "Fax Me" and "U R Hot". Whoever invented these things is a genius, not to mention the fact that I can literally eat 10,000 of these. You got those heart suckers that are delicious, you got those heart jujubes that are so much better than all the rest. And since you don't have anyone to buy for, you can treat yourself.
I was gunna go on, but why? If I haven't convinced you by now, you are a lost cause. Which means you are one of those sixty percent. Which means you are just yearning for the special boy or girl. Well boys, you are about to get a little lesson from the king of love.
In the form of the most passionate thing known to man: the poem. I am going to show you how to woo the girl of your dreams. Here is a little excerpt from the poem I am writing for my future lucky lady.
My love for you is as deep as Marianas Trench.
When you are with me, you tighten my heart like a wrench.
When you aren't, my soul, it cannot be quenched.
All I can ask for is your undying compassion.
Will you share with me your part of the rations?
Let's break it down. I started off here with a very powerful line. One that gets their attention right off the bat. How much deeper can you get than the deepest part of the world? I don't know.
These next two lines kind of go together. It shows that you are thinking about her twenty-four slash seven. That's a lot of time.
Next comes the request. I am reaching out to her right here. I can only love someone so much. They have to love me back. Don't worry, they will be eating out of your house by the time they get past those three lines. And by saying 'undying', you've got written proof against her if things don't work out.
And always at the end, you pose a question. I chose a question that goes kind of back to war times with the whole ration thing. Despite all the fighting, it was a very passionate time, what with ladies having to be away from their men so long and all. Given what I said about them eating out of your hand, it really is a rhetorical question.
Well, there you go. If you can't get a girl now, I don't know what to say. Rent the Notebook. Take a lesson from Ryan Gosling or whatever. But if you want my advice, stay single.
For when the time comes that you have a special someone in your life, you can't eat the candy you buy. It's just not worth it.
Happy Valentine's Day to all.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Pancake Tuesday!
Yah, I know. Its Wednesday. Truth is, I meant to talk about this yesterday. I forgot. Sorry. I suppose I really should be talking about Ash Wednesday, but who wants to talk about a day whose theme is rubbing that grey stuff on your forehead? Pancakes, or head-ash, you decide. I've made my decision.
Growing up going to a private school, we always had Pancake Day. I never thought about the meaning of it, the relevance of the whole thing, but honestly, who in my situation would? It's a day devoted to pancakes. You show up, they put pancakes on your paper plate. What is so hard to get? Sounds like the kind of day I'd come up with if I was running this place. Instead, we get Family Day. Why would I want to eat my family. Liberal psychos.
Until about five minutes ago, I still had no idea what it was about. All I know is that someone mentioned it was on Tuesday to me, and I decided we at work had to celebrate. So we made pancakes for the residents. What a joyous day.
I did some research. Now, I already knew that it came on the day before Ash Wednesday, which is the first day of Lent. What I found out is fascinating! (It's really not.) It's Pancake Day because pancakes look like the Sun.. dot dot dot. I'm not impressed so far. If they wanted it to be a solar thing, why don't they make it Sun Chip and Sundae Day? Helllooo, who wouldn't want both of those things?
I also found out that Pancake Tuesday is Mardi Gras in other places. Let me get this straight. Down in New Orleans, they are partying down the main streets, and I'm here eating pancakes. This day gets worse and worse. We don't even get a day off work.
Oh well. I will continue to obliviously eat pancakes on this day. But I am waiting for my Sun Chips and Sundaes.
And I WILL put gummie worms on it.
Growing up going to a private school, we always had Pancake Day. I never thought about the meaning of it, the relevance of the whole thing, but honestly, who in my situation would? It's a day devoted to pancakes. You show up, they put pancakes on your paper plate. What is so hard to get? Sounds like the kind of day I'd come up with if I was running this place. Instead, we get Family Day. Why would I want to eat my family. Liberal psychos.
Until about five minutes ago, I still had no idea what it was about. All I know is that someone mentioned it was on Tuesday to me, and I decided we at work had to celebrate. So we made pancakes for the residents. What a joyous day.
I did some research. Now, I already knew that it came on the day before Ash Wednesday, which is the first day of Lent. What I found out is fascinating! (It's really not.) It's Pancake Day because pancakes look like the Sun.. dot dot dot. I'm not impressed so far. If they wanted it to be a solar thing, why don't they make it Sun Chip and Sundae Day? Helllooo, who wouldn't want both of those things?
I also found out that Pancake Tuesday is Mardi Gras in other places. Let me get this straight. Down in New Orleans, they are partying down the main streets, and I'm here eating pancakes. This day gets worse and worse. We don't even get a day off work.
Oh well. I will continue to obliviously eat pancakes on this day. But I am waiting for my Sun Chips and Sundaes.
And I WILL put gummie worms on it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)